Parenting without a village

When I started my parenting journey, I knew I was going to be going it alone.  Knowing that, I really didn’t know what that would look like day to day.  Three years later I can’t even imagine what parenting would be like with a village.  There are definitely challenges, but there are also benefits.

When Jackson first came home I was able to take FMLA for several weeks so was able to ease into the world of being a working mom.  Once I did return to work I was slammed with the reality of having to juggle it all on my own.  Living without a safety net  became apparent when Jackson became sick and I had no one to care for him when he couldn’t go to daycare.  This continues to be my number one challenge, thankfully I am often able to work from home but daydream about being able to call up a family member to pick Jackson up when he’s sick, or when I’m running late from work.  The lack of a backup has forced me to simply figure it out, but that is when I feel the void of a village the most.  Knowing that there isn’t a village has forced me to make choices that I may otherwise wouldn’t have made.  Extra curricular activities, school choices, and especially social activities are all dictated by the knowledge that I have to be able to do all drop offs and pick ups myself.

On the other hand, I have learned how to make it work.  I know that I can travel solo with a couple kids and we will all survive.  I know that I can haul a few kids to church and not have to sit in the crying room in order to make it through the service. I know that I can walk two dogs with a preschooler strapped to my back and baby strapped to my front.  I know who is going to wake up at night when a child awakes, and I know who is going to kill all of the bugs and replace all of the batteries.  I know I can do it because I have done it.  I know I can do it, because there isn’t an alternative.

As much as I sometimes wish that I could drop my son off with a family member for a night instead of having to hire a babysitter, and didn’t have to stress about the weeks that daycare closes for holidays, I know that at the end of the day it will be alright because what matters the most is that my son is surrounded by love, even if our village is more like a heard of wayward sheep scattered all over the place.